Dear Dreamers
Delightly delivering myself to you.
Despite a desolate, dilapidated daily life, this doer is deemed deviant—escaping the discomforted disbelief that desired dreams are worth less than a dime.
I am not a demagogue, delivering delusional declarations.
Not a deist, driving debauched doctrines.
Not a despoiler, diffusing dazzling deception.
You can’t describe this dullard as a distinguished dominator. But as your decadent desire? I can be a dominatrix. Yet most of the time, I’m just a debonair doorman—drawing you to the doorway.
The door of disorder, displayed behind the drapery, is decorated by dispersed daisies. It directs you beyond the demarcation of doomed dolour—into a deluding dreamland.
Delete the discoloured, dimmed world.
Dive into the deluge of devilish daydreams.
I will delightfully docent you to your destination—a place of discerning delectation, where your childhood dreams still breathe.
Doubters describe daydreaming as delusion.
But our drifters know: there is no line between deed and descriptive.
In Daydream Land, we will:
Develop our dynasty. Disengage dear demons from the drawers. Debate dynamic, colourful dogmas. Doting on your life—design it.
Dare to defy dull destiny. Discover what you dismissed as detritus—the fragments of a distinctive delirium.
I am here—your displayer of desire.
Dream. Desire. Diva. Delusion. Dazzler. Devil. Demon. Daylight. Daybreak. Diviner.
You can describe me in all different dialects, as you desire. But after the dawning…
Call me D.
I’m sure you think about what it is all about. Like I said, it is all about dreams. The dream that everybody had it but somehow lost it. Let me tell you a story. The story is all we have, but this is about my story. The story about D in reality.
Before the dawn, I was born and raised in South Korea. I would love to say, that my life in South Korea was just ordinary with a normal family, the typical way of life, and no major trouble. However, the truth is not. My growth has never been stereo standard. This story is quite long, so let’s talk later in my room and move on.
As my father told me, being an ordinary is the best life I can have. Therefore, I tried my best to fit in that standard. I got my degree, even though I had no idea what I wanted. I got a job and built my career, which I was interested in, but in the end, it became things to do just for money. I had relationships with some guys, making me feel better to be accepted by someone, but also a feeling I would never be satisfied with.
I have to say, I made it well. I was a good worker who worked 9 to 6, sometimes more than that, and asked me the tasks I never wanted, but never complained about it, even if not being paid enough. I was a good daughter who took care of my family, did my best for my parents to be proud, and made trouble occasionally as my father’s disappointment, but who had never thought to escape from family bondage, even when my father told me I was not going to be his family anymore if I get married. I was a good lover and friend who did everything to be accepted, made time whenever they or I wanted, and had fun like there was no future and would be young forever.
Seems like it worked. The more I got old, the more I got used to those roles. But I knew there were cracks. The cracks got bigger whenever I felt suffocating to fit into those roles. Whenever I felt those cracks, my mind hid inside daydreams. I understood it was silly to do it, but I couldn’t help myself. In that dream, I could be everything. I was a hero, an empress, and a god in my dream. And that made me breathe. That’s why I couldn’t stop. I lived a dull life but always stepped into my colourful dreams, and it made me alive. I was everything in the dream, but nothing in reality.
And suddenly, in 2016. my life started to collapse. It was not my intention, but it happened. Everything I tried hard to fit in was gone. I was no longer a good worker, daughter, lover, or friend. I couldn’t find anything to hold me on the ground. -I still had my mom. But my poor mom barely held on herself to recover from her depression, scars, and life itself.- I could be swimming in the daydreaming as I used to be, but I knew that time it would drown me out of reality. Then, I decided to make the daydream come true into my reality.
Therefore, I ran away. Yes, I did. Not just from my home, relationships, or jobs, but I got out of my country. I always dreamt about travelling around the world, although I did. Everybody said you were crazy, you lost your mind, didn’t think clearly or blah, blah, blah, but nothing made me stop. I went to China and travelled to Vietnam, and Cambodia, Laos, Thailand. After 2 months and a half of trips in Asia, I went to Australia to make money and travel. I worked and stayed there for 2 years. Then now, somehow, 8 years since I left my country, I’m settling in New Zealand, about 10,000km away from my home country.
Did I want it? I’m not sure. I like the easy life here, but on the other hand, I occasionally feel awkward being a stranger in this strange land. As long as I stay here and settle down, I feel like I’m floating in the middle of nowhere. The same feeling I had before, becoming nothing. That is why I started seeking the root to hold me in here. The root that I lost a long time ago.
I don’t have a family here. My family is in Korea very much separated. I have a boyfriend who is my family now, but that does not mean he can be my root. Being loved is feeling myself to be special, but can’t be enough to root me into a life I own. I am more bigger than that. So, I came up with an idea that I had before. I brought my dear old friend daydream, but at this time, I didn’t run away. I still want to travel around the world, but that is not the only dream I have. So I choose not to run away but make that dream become my root in this strange land, putting out all the complex thinking buzzing inside of my little brain into the world living in. Therefore, I will flower all the wishes, desires and dreams that I have had for a long time. That, I can say I’m alive.
So, going back to the first, what is all about it? It is all about the story. The story of the journey to connect with things we have forgotten in this grey world. It is my story, but it could be yours. The daydream land welcomes everyone to step in and find dazzling dreams. And I hope my stories inspire you to encourage bringing your lost dream into your own life. I’m just ordinary but also an extraordinary human being. I’m not a guru or psychic, so I have no idea this journey can be a success, but at least I started. And I dare you, if I can do it, you can do it.
daydreamland.blog 